Manipulation?

sharont6 | Awakening/ Enlightenment | 07 10th, 2019  |  No Comments »

6/9/18

When I tried to tell SCPN that I was stepping back for two months to deal with family issues, she managed to get me to agree to still pay for class, come at 8:30 if possible and continue donations. I felt she manipulated me and she did. It’s called the erosion technique according to Marti. The more money you give, the more energy Thay gives you. Is this spiritual? Even lighting a candle is $5. That doesn’t feel right. (Jeannie’s father died last night. ) Rachna says awake energy is free and should come from the heart. This feels right to me. After much contemplative meditation I have concluded that the energy of the temple is real but the people don’t have it yet. I’m not sure about the ZMs. Please help me see the truth Divine energy.

Rachna also says towards the end of the path you must let go of attachment to the guru. Your last steps will be alone, detachment from everyone and everything. I have ALWAYS felt my path would be alone… “I walk this path alone…” (When I first heard this phrase in meditation I thought it was a poem coming to me. Perhaps it will be later on.)

I have been meditating on why I can’t focus during meditation. Then I realized I created a zen master that would be distant, seem to focus on money, etc. because those were my ego’s hot topics. So I must focus on healing the unworthiness if I wish to continue. 

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